Friday, December 7, 2007

Choosing A Path/Live It!

On this December 7, Pearl Harbor Day, I remember my father who at the age of 16 implored his dad to sign papers that would allow him to enter World War II.

To my father at that age, I'm sure joining the Navy seemed like a step into adventure. But I'm betting it was also seen as an escape from school books, the tedium of garden and animal chores, and the crowded conditions shared with three brothers and two sisters in a small, four-room house.

The reality, I think, was a rude awakening. His assignment on Navy repair ships was hard work and not nearly as glamorous as he had imagined. But helping to fix ships while at sea led him into a career that was his ticket out of poverty. He learned the trade of electrician and eventually became a Chief Petty Officer, supervising crews of men repairing electric motors and troubleshooting electrical problems.

He turned that experience into a career that served him and his family well.

You never can tell what will start you down the road of a career. So often, it happens in the course of normal living. As we are exposed to different possibilities, we begin to see what we're good at, what we enjoy, what other people appreciate in us. We begin to be directed to a certain path and become successful, find fulfillment, grow, and become more valuable to those who hire us. And a career happens.

Think about a couple of other things. First, tune in to your heart. Know your heart's desire. What would you like to do more than anything else? What would it take to be able to do it? Make some plans and move in that direction. You are more valuable to an employer when you're happy than when you're bored and unfulfilled. Life is short. Pursue your dreams.

Also, pay attention to the circumstances around you. Sometimes the things we dread become great opportunities. My career out of college fell flat. I was devastated. But the bitter pill led to a new field that suited me much better than the first. The career I have now is the one that keeps me engaged and challenged.

And don't forget the people around you. The relationships that you form and build are the lasting tributes to a life well-lived.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Choosing a Path/Go Deep

Oddly enough, one of the keys to knowing yourself is to know others.

Think about the people in your life that fit two categories: People in a position to know you well and people who care about you.

Naturally, the people who know you best are the people who spend a lot of time around you. Think also about those who see you respond under a variety of different circumstances. Who sees you when you're under pressure? Who sees how you work with others? Who works with you enough to know how you think? Who knows your personality?

Consider which of these you trust and admire for their wisdom--their solid thinking and living. Then find some time to talk with them about who they say you are.

Some questions you can ask:
  • What would you say are my top three strengths?
  • What are the three things I should work on?
  • When you see me at my very best, what am I doing?
  • What do I do that benefits you the most?
  • What do I do that makes you feel good when you see me doing it?

You may have to probe deeper to get the insights that will help you understand who you are at your best. Compare these insights with your own feelings. Ask yourself the same questions. How do the answers you get from others line up, confirm or contradict what you sense?

As you determine what truly are your strengths, understand that those strengths can be applied in a lot of different life situations--work, relationships, hobbies, charities. In other words, you don't have to think about work alone. Your greatest fulfillment may not come with a career, but with all the living that goes on after the job.

Realize that it takes time to flesh out who you are. It takes a lifetime of experiences to find your best self and to begin living life in a way that takes advantage of those strengths. It's one of the advantages of being in your fifties. You've lived enough life that--if you've been paying attention--you pretty well know your sweet spots.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Choosing a Path/Think About It

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

It's one of the hardest questions we face as men, and it comes awfully early in life. Many of us struggle with it. Some our entire life, never quite sure that we've found that singular thing that we were made for.

I'm not necessarily talking about a career; although as men we do tend to use our job title as a plumb line for who we are. I want to talk about more, because we are more than our job.

In essence, I'll be talking about finding yourself--no easy task in today's world. First, you have to make a living. Once that's taken care of, there is the living that happens outside the workplace. Both demand a great deal of your time and energy, especially if family is involved. It's easy to get lost in the crunch. Taking care of business--an important thing to do--can keep you from achieving this primary task that often fills your mind during the quiet moments.

But on top of that is the way others try to define us--not only the people in our life but this world that we live in. There's no end of inputs that attempt to push us to be certain things that others define as the ideal. Very confusing.

The fact is, only you can determine who you are. But the journey to uncover that discovery does involve others. You just have to have the maturity to seek out the right people for insights and then to discern what input is valuable to you and what should be discarded.

How can I describe this process? It is so individual and so illusive. Yet, I can give you some insights that have helped me on this journey--a trail that I'm still following myself.

Think about the people in your life, those that you admire and trust, those that know you.
And we'll talk Wednesday.