Good vs. Courageous?/Live It!

Fear holds us back!
It's the river, according to Gus Lee, that the good person refuses to cross. And that's unfortunate, because on the opposite bank lies the land of the courageous.

Again, understanding the premise of why good isn't all a leader needs is found in Lee's definition of "courageous."

In his book, "Courage," Gus defines a courageous leader as the person who boldly stands for principles and for all others. He supports values, and doing so he does not play favorites.

The most important core values of the courageous leader, then, are these:

• Integrity--This leader discerns right from wrong, acts for the right despite the risks, and teaches others from that act.


• Courage--First, this leader stops wrong in himself. Then, he challenges wrongs in others and always follows through.


• Character--This leader sustains integrity and courage, always in an effort to maximize integrity.

Here's the rub: adhering to these core values requires a leader to confront. It's not enough to recognize when someone isn't measuring up. You must confront the behavior that is wrong--in every case.

I don't care who you are, that is scary. I'm trying to discern why that's so in my case. After all, if the behavior is wrong, why would confronting that behavior be difficult?

You would have to be confident, and by that I don't mean arrogant. For me, this confidence should come from an uncompromising belief in the values you live and espouse, plus an absolute conviction that confronting people who deviate from these values is protecting your team as well as improving the people you confront.

You would have to overcome the lack of confidence that comes from uncertainty, over-sensitivity to others, and your own complacency towards the values that will make your team successful.

I wonder if any of this is close to Lee's advice in the rest of his book? I'd better finish it and find out.

Thanks for working through this with me. I want to be that courageous leader.

Good vs. Courageous?/Go Deep

When is good not good enough?
In Gus Lee's book, "Courage--the backbone of leadership," just being good doesn't cut it in executive positions. You need to be courageous, he says.

If you're confused, welcome to my world. But it helps to know how Gus defines good. A "good person" avoids personal wrongs, but doesn't take unpleasant stands for principles (which makes him prone to standing, at times, for favorites rather than values).

A good person is good, adhering to the principles of honesty, honor and ethics. But, a leader should be more.

Gus uses the analogy of how a boxing coach confronted him and others to make them the best they could be. He did not hesitate to translate his values to his young students, peppering them as much about ethics as about how to defend against a right jab. Also, he was diligent about confronting every breach of ethics that he witnessed.

The coach wanted only the best for those he mentored. And that included not allowing them to get away with disrespecting themselves by breaking those values.

That, according to Gus, is a true leader. Never satisfied to see people fall short of the best, he communicates the standards and then holds those within his care to account for living up to those standards. That, Gus says, is what it means to be courageous.

The impression I get is that Gus believes a good person is all right. It's just that, if you're just good, you should not aspire to be a leader.

There's the challenge. Can I be courageous? How can I be a courageous leader? Early in his book, Gus gives some clues.

Good vs. Courageous?/Think About It

I'm reading a challenging book.
It's titled, "Courage--the backbone of leadership," written by Gus Lee, a business consultant.

According to Lee, no one wants to consider himself a coward. Yet, few, he says, fall into the category of courageous. Instead, they fall into a lesser category, "good." I'll get into more of the difference between the two later.

For now, I want you to struggle with me. I've always thought of myself as a courageous person, and a leader. But, I've also known that I am conflict-adverse. Apparently, most people are. Perhaps, even you?

The question is whether you can be a "courageous leader" unless you conquer that fear of conflict and confront the negatives that you see in the workplace. Honestly, that's not where I live. I tend to take care of myself, watching my P's and Q's and making sure I measure up. That other person? Well, he's responsible for himself.

So isn't example an adequate approach to leadership? Apparently, it takes both in Lee's estimation. It's obvious that you can't confront other's negatives effectively unless you are first living up to the values you espouse. But, just living up to those values isn't enough. You must confront those who are failing to live up to the values that will bring success to the operation.

I'm just beginning this book, so I'm trusting that Lee will provide more of the tools that help you know when to confront and how. But, for now, it's significant enough that I'm struggling with Lee's proposition. I may have to settle that personal issue before any practical steps will be of help.

How about you?

Together/Live It!

Be thankful for the friends you have.
They provide more than you think and a whole lot of what we need in life.

Again, a collection of "Quotable Quotes" from a Reader's Digest delivered some great reminders of the benefits of friendship:

• Acceptance. "Getting people to like you is only the other side of liking them."--Norman Vincent Peale. This fits very neatly with the principle of being a friend to make friends. Friendship brings with it acceptance, a nutrient we all crave.
• Encouragement. "Friendships multiply joys and divide griefs."--H. G. Bohn. In good times and bad, friends provide encouragement that feeds our soul.
• Support. "Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer."--Ed Cunningham. That is rare. Are you one of those who listen when others need to share?
• Effectiveness. "No matter what accomplishments you achieve, somebody helps you."--Althea Gibson. The longer I live, the more evidence I see that this is true. Never forget the friends, the co-workers, that help you achieve.
• Mentoring. "Men are men before they are lawyers, or physicians, or merchants, or manufacturers; and if you make them capable and sensible men, they will make themselves capable and sensible lawyers or physicians."--John Stuart Mill. We all need mentors; yet, there's a dearth of good coaches these days. Perhaps you can become one?

Friendship is such an essential--worth the thoughtfulness, intentionality, and effort to create and maintain. Try it. You'll like it!

Together/Go Deep

"Strangers are friends that you have yet to meet." --Robert Lieberman

I used to complain that I had few close friends, until I realized that the bulk of the problem lay with me. Friendship isn't something that just happens. It's something that you work at making happen.

It starts by realizing the wealth that comes from a close-knit group of friends who are investing in each others lives. Or, the poverty that exists in a vacuum without shared interests and experiences and support.

I found a compilation of "Quotable Quotes" from Reader's Digest that take it from there:

Friends develop from the pool of acquaintances you have around you. "One does not make friends. One recognizes them." --Garth Henrichs

Seeking friends is an unselfish process if done correctly. "The only way to have a friend is to be one." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

You put other's interests ahead of your own. You prove your worth as a friend first before expecting others to befriend you. "You can make more friends in a month by being interested in them than in ten years by trying to get them interested in you." --Charles L. Allen

Don't look for perfection in a friend. Look for (and model) loyalty. "A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes." --Doug Larson

Don't expect true friendship to spring up overnight. It's a process that takes time. "True friendship is a plant of slow growth." --George Washington

Friendship is a life essential. The fact that so many have thought (and written) so much about it is proof that it is a cherished and necessary component of living. I've decided I need to work harder at building true friendships.

I've found other quotes that speak to the benefits of a "team of friends." More on that later this week.

Together/Think About It

I watched a rip-roarin' football game Saturday night.
It was the Oklahoma Sooners that were rippin' up the #2 Texas Tech Red Raiders. And it was the OU fan base that was roarin'.

A little one-sided, to say the least, as the #5 Sooners romped over the Raiders to the tune of a 45-point margin.

Headed into the locker room at halftime, behind 42-7, the Tech coach told a reporter, "We just never got the players settled down." That's shorthand for, "The team is not playing like a team."

Too hyped, too nervous, too charged or too whatever, the individual Tech players were unable to concentrate. They weren't executing individually and lost cohesion as a team. It wasn't apparent that Tech was a team until their final drive, when they put together 12 plays for 99 yards and a rare touchdown.

This was a team that was 10-0 coming into Norman, Oklahoma. They had regularly romped over their opponents, having only one close game this season (vs. Nebraska, won in overtime). Both the quarterback and the team were racking up all sorts of records, too many to summarize in this post.

The team's complete disintegration in the face of a strong OU performance was a big reminder to me of how important teamwork is. Individuals do not win games. Excellent individual performances come together in a pattern of success that achieves mutual goals--yards, first downs, touchdowns, the win.

Even the very best QB--a Heisman Trophy contender Graham Harrell--can't do it alone.

Then why is it we, as men, tend to go-it-alone? Many times in pride, sometimes out of convenience, and at times out of unfortunate necessity, we tackle some of life's hardest challenges as Lone Rangers. When we do, it often ends in disaster.

Think about your tendency to rely only on self. Think about what would be different with a close-knit troop of friends who could be true team players with you. Then we'll go deep on Wednesday.

Full Cycle

I've been out-of-pocket this week, attending a memorial service of a friend of the family.

In fact, you know the family.

In "When Mortality Calls/Think About It" (Oct. 13, 2008), I talked about my father's death. One of the first persons to arrive at my parent's house was my brother-in-law, Tom. It's 23 years on the other side of that day, and Tom's father has passed away after battling a brain tumor for a period of months.

Tom was a godsend to my family on that fateful day 23 years ago. The experience profoundly affected Tom, who was a young man at the time. His first stop after leaving the hospital that day was to stop by his father's house and spend time with him.

I believe it changed Tom's perspective. He always loved and appreciated his Dad. But, from the day of my father's death, he seemed to cherish every time he had with his dad. And they had 23 more years of projects, fishing trips, family dinners, special occasions and the like. A blessing that became more real to Tom because he saw early on that life together is not a guarantee.

An interesting full-cycle happened during the past months.

My sister-in-law is a nurse who serves with a cancer doctor. It turned out that her doctor was assigned to treat Tom's father. So my sister-in-law, my brother's wife, was privileged to serve Tom's father and family during this ordeal. I considered it God's grace that a family member from my side was able to be there for Tom when time came.

It's a reminder of how everything is connected. Treat others in a way you would want to be treated. Chances are, life with orchestrate a pay-back.

I'll be back in the swing of a regular post next week. Till then, take care. ch

Signs of the Times/Three

Most bumper stickers are just for fun.
Like the one I saw this past week: "What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?"

Other than a good laugh, the only residual impact I took away from this auto eye candy was having that song stuck in my head. Nothing more.

Is it possible others take the sentiment as something a little more serious, though? Hard to say. But for people without a solid sense of purpose, it seems that even a hokey pokey reference could throw them for a loop.

That could be the reason Rick Warren's book, "The Purpose-Driven Life," is such a huge seller nationally and internationally. Rick does a great job of matching our need to find purpose with solid, understandable direction from God's Word.

There was another "life philosophy" bumper sticker I saw this past week. This one was designed to look similar to Colorado license plates, with a green mountain range and a white sky background. The message simply read, "It's all good." Now, this one made me think.

I'm assuming the meaning (for the car's owner) was that everything was made good because he lives in Colorado. That interpretation came partly from the mountain range reference, but the well-worn SUV was the best clue.

I can see individuals living by such a philosophy. If you've ever been around four-wheeler enthusiasts, life is nothing but good when they are looking forward to a weekend in the mountains.

But I can't see that as an enduring life philosophy. In the first place, it's not all good And those things that are bad can't be made good by what is. Life is a mix. We take it as it comes; but the goal is to not let the bad "color" your life in the negative. We need to see the bad realistically, and deal with it in as positive manner as we can. Then, we need to enjoy the good as it happens, not allowing the bad to take away the joy of little pleasures.

I'm preaching to myself, here, folks. I've been allowing the bad to color too much of my world lately. It's an easy pattern to fall into. But how ridiculous it would be to drive around with a bumper sticker on the back of your car that reads, "It's all bad," allowing the bad in life to negate everything good.

Signs of the Time/Two

It is all about me, isn't it?
Well, in fact, it is, if we're honest about it.

Starbucks knows that better than anyone and proved it with a simple and effective billboard I saw this past week. The board had very little to it: simply a cup of coffee with the Starbucks logo on it, then the words "Reward Yourself" followed by a couple of addresses.

That was it. Actually, it was perfect.

Rule of thumb for outdoor boards is to have no more than eight words. I think it should be no more than eight elements. In other words, for me, a logo counts as a word. It has to be seen, understood, and translated into meaning, just like a word.

From a moving vehicle, most people only have about seven seconds to see, read, understand and respond to a billboard. Think of that the next time you see an outdoor board with 10 words, a photo, a logo, and a long address line.

In contrast, think of the Starbucks example: two words, a graphic and logo combined in one element, and two addresses. Plus, the meaning is quickly understood and easy to respond to. Why? Because it really is all about me!

How many times have you said, "I deserve some kind of a reward for this." Or maybe the sentiment was, "I don't deserve this! I need something good to happen to me to even this out." Starbucks just taps into that mind set, offering both the means and the opportunity to even the score.

We seem to keep a running tab in our heads of the pluses and minuses we experience, sensing that a truly just world would allow the positives to outweigh the negatives. But, alas, the real world crushes that dream. So we're left with a void that needs satiated: "I want justice. I want some payback, even if I have to go buy it."

If this sounds familiar, take note. There are other companies aware of this tendency in us, and they don't mind tapping into your need to "reward yourself" to sell their products.

Caveat emptor! (The buyer beware.) In most cases, you're buying only a temporary feel-good substitute for true justice. You won't find satisfaction in a cup of over-priced java. Likely, just more calories than you truly need.

Signs of the Times/One

Are bumper stickers and billboards accurate measures of the state of the country?

If so, we're in bigger trouble than I would hope.

I've been spending a lot of time on the road, recently, and so have had time to catch up on bumper sticker philosophy. When I see a compelling message on the back of a car, I always have to catch up and look at the person in the driver's seat. But not in every case.

I saw a sticker on a domestic junker recently that seemed to speak to the political climate of the day: "I'd like to see things from your perspective, but I just can't get my head that far up my (bleep)!"

Well, all right then. The first thing that popped into my head was the condemning look of the church lady on Saturday Night Live years ago. My second thought was, "That pretty much sums up how people on opposite ends of the political spectrum think of each other nowadays."

Have you noticed this election cycle how vitriolic the language is getting, from both sides? We're in the last few days of the campaign and the airwaves are filled with fear-tactic messages trying to scare people away from either a candidate or a ballot issue.

How can people work together when they've shoveled that much dirt on one another? Even people within the same party disparage each other during the primaries.

The country is in deep trouble in a variety of ways. It seems we should be pulling together and trying to find ways to work toward the common good. But there's a definite "all or nothing" attitude at election time that carries over into the in-between times when legislation is supposed to happen.

We've been suffering, at times, from legislative gridlock that keeps us from having decent energy, environmental, and economic policies. Yet, everyone continues down the same ultra-partisan road that condemns us to inaction.

Hey, it's funny on a bumper sticker. But in real life, not so funny.

A Week Off

Hi folks!
Sorry I'm a day late on this.

My Monday started at 2:15 a.m. when my wife and I received a call from our daughter who was going into labor. Happily, our second granddaughter was born at 8:43 a.m. the same morning, healthy and wide-eyed.

At some point late Monday night, I realized that (1) I had been going for 20 hours straight after having only had 3.5 hours of sleep the night before and (2) I hadn't started my blog.

Still recovering, I'm going to take a break this week, try to catch up on my sleep, and enjoy this new addition to our family.

I'll be back with a new blog on Monday, November 2.

Don't forget to vote!

Learning "Marriage"/Live It!

There's a reason that couples who have been married for many years seem to be a lot alike.

They typically were attracted to each other because they had a lot in common in the first place. And, after many years of working together toward common goals and bringing issues to resolution, they become even more like-minded.

That's a key fact that young marrieds need to remember. At times, it seems like things will never get better. In the heat of the moment, it can feel like there's no hope of a smooth-sailing relationship. Give it time. As a variable in the marriage relationship, time together can make a big difference.

There are two other components to a successful relationship that men and women should pay attention to--love and respect. Dr. Emerson Eggerich, a former pastor and a psychologist, wrote a book on how these two courtesies build strong, lasting marriages.

But, Emerson wasn't the original. Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Eph. 5:33)

Dr. Eggerich says in his book, "Love and Respect", that couples get into a downward cycle. The wife perceives that her husband isn't loving her because he is being unsympathetic or isn't showing her attention. So, she disrespects her husband. The husband responds with more behavior that indicates to the woman that he doesn't love her, and the descent to a broken relationship continues.

The cycle can only be broken when one or the other responds in love or respect. Since this is a blog for men, I'll give you a few tips on how you can show love to your wife:

• Listen--When my wife asks, "How was your day?" I know that that's actually an invitation to a conversation. The woman is the one with a need to verbally relate her day to the man. But she does genuinely want to know how you feel about your day. So relate not just the events of the day, but how you feel about how things are going. Then reciprocate. Ask how her day was and really listen.
• Gifts--A woman needs to feel that she is your one and only choice for a life mate. One way you can do that is with unexpected gifts. Nothing elaborate. A card with a simple note, reminding her that you want to be with her. Flowers given "just because" are a lasting reminder of your affection.
• Time--A surprise date fits into this category. Take a little time off work and arrange a special time together. Whatever you do, make sure it is a quiet place that allows for conversation (the listen thing).
• Reassurance--You need to always be aware of what your wife says and think about why she is saying it. There are times when my wife says, "I know you'd rather be doing something else." That's an opportunity to reassure her that there's no place else I'd rather be.

If you are certain to deliver regular doses of love to your wife, you'll be surprised with how much respect you get in return. It fits under the golden rule principle. If you want to be happy, make the one closest to you happy first.

Learning "Marriage"/Go Deep

Toilet lid: leave it up or down?
Tooth paste: squeeze the tube in the middle or from the bottom up?
Toilet paper: over or under?

These weighty issues are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the conflicts newly married couples have to work out.

My advice to young marrieds starts with recommending an attitude of foreverness. (Not a word, but it communicates.) You may have thought marriage was going to be perfect. But when you found out it wasn't, that doesn't change the fact that you've made an agreement, a covenant, to remain together forever.

If you both agree on that premise, then you leave yourselves no option other than working through the conflicts. You need to learn how to talk openly and honestly about your feelings, without putting your mate down. That sounds like, "I feel like this..." rather than "You always do this..."

Always seek the win-win solution. So, if it requires two separate, yet equal tubes of tooth paste, work it out. If you practice on the smaller issues, it won't be as hard to tackle the really difficult conflicts.

That does bring up a related point: don't major on the minors. A couple needs to be a team. There are plenty of enemies "out there" that have to be confronted. If your relationship is constantly being hampered by conflicts over piddly stuff, you won't be an effective team when tackling life. Let go of the things that aren't significant.

That united front should be consistently shown in public. One of my biggest mistakes as a newly married man was bringing up an issue "in front of company" that my wife and I had disagreed about. Stupid. Did I think I'd get some cover from people outside my marriage? Didn't work. I just embarrassed myself and my wife.

Join me later this week for more marriage-keeper tips.

Learning "Marriage"/Think About It

I have both a son and a son-in-law navigating the sometimes rough waters called "new marriage relationship."

They are both doing well, but not without putting in some work. Bringing together two distinct personalities from two totally different backgrounds into a marriage and making them "one" is not an easy thing.

I had the privilege of counseling with a young missionary a few years ago who was struggling with that relationship-building thing. He was originally from Australia, but had entered an international language school after surrendering his life to missions. At school, he met a beautiful young Asian woman who also had committed her life to missions and was studying the same language.

Other than the mutual attraction, I believe the similarities stopped there. Nonetheless, they fell in love and married before venturing out onto the mission field.

The young man explained that "it was hard" to connect and to work together as a couple. My response to him was, "No kidding!" The first thing I wanted him to know was that he was not alone. Everyone--and I mean everyone--has a bumpy time at first.

Think about it. You're bringing together two individuals and are attempting to make a couple. There are two different backgrounds, two viewpoints, two sets of habits that now have to become compatible. There are differing (and sometimes diverse) tastes in foods, in fashions, and interior design. There are chores that have to be divvied up. There are questions about budgeting and spending that must be answered. There are spiritual matters, career matters, and family matters that must be explored.

Forget about obsessing over whether the toilet lid stays up or down. That's the least of your worries.

Now, add to all that the challenge of blending two cultures and the stress of moving into a strange country and culture where there is virtually no support group. That's where this missionary couple was living. Whew! Yes, I would say, "It's hard!"

But, it's far from hopeless. I'm not a certified marriage counselor of any kind. But, I have been married for nearly 35 years and have been exposed to a lot of marriage helps (yes, because I needed a lot of marriage helps). So I shared what I could in the short amount of time we had together.

I'd like to share some of those newly married tips this week, some of which I discussed with my young missionary friend, and others that I wish I had remembered at the time.

In the meantime, how is your relationship doing? Or, more importantly, how do you want your relationship to be doing? Think about it!

When Mortality Calls/Live It!

Christian writer and C. S. Lewis gave dimension to his thoughts on pain and suffering in his book, "The Problem of Pain."

The questions he seemed to be exploring is "Why do we suffer?" and "What kind of a perspective should Christian's have when we face pain?"

Here's what he said:

"The Christian doctrine of suffering explains, I believe, a very curious fact about the world we live in. The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment, He has scattered broadcast.

In other words, Lewis' experience was that, in life, we do not find a permanent sense of peace. Troubles come in and out of our existence, keeping us from reaching that place of rest that we all seek. On the other hand, those things that bring us joy and happiness in life seem to be fairly plentiful and scattered throughout our days.

Lewis continued: "We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency.

"Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."

He brings a simple, yet insightful, life principle to light. It's a perspective that only Christians can possess. Those things that bring pain and suffering in life should be viewed as reminders that this life is not our destination, not our home.

Christ said, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." (John 14:1-3)

We have a place waiting for us. And this world is not it. But God gives is little pleasures along the way that do brighten our world, when we let them.

When Mortality Calls/Go Deep

Death is cruel, and not a respecter of persons.

No one gets a pass. Death comes to all at some point in time. The only questions are when and how. And then, for those who survive a loved one, why?

It's a deep question that cries out for an answer. Christian writer C. S. Lewis observed the cruelty of death during World War II. He asked the questions, and then wrote and spoke about what he found.

In a sermon he preached, called "Learning in War-Time," Lewis said, "War makes death real to us, and that would have been regarded as one of its blessings by most of the great Christians of the past. They thought it good for us to be always aware of our mortality. I am inclined to think they were right."

Lewis goes on to postulate that the basic instinct of an unregenerate man is to seek to build up a "heaven on earth." Think about it. Many in our world today are working to do just that. They surround themselves with worldly toys--possessions, women, trophies. And many succeed, shielding themselves from life's unseemly side, insulating themselves from suffering, and propping up a view that life is wonderful.

For Lewis, war had savaged this illusion. War shows us in no uncertain terms exactly what kind of world we live in. We are forced to face death as a brutal reality.

Lewis continued, "If we thought we were building up a heaven on earth, if we looked for something that would turn the present world from a place of pilgrimage into a permanent city satisfying the soul of man, we are disillusioned, and not a moment too soon."

This improper attitude--that we can somehow conquer death on our own and hold it off while seeking and fulfilling our own pleasures--is shattered in the face of our mortality.

Then Lewis pointed to the proper attitude: "But if we thought that for some souls, and at some times, the life of learning, humbly offered to God, was, in its own small way, one of the appointed approaches to the Divine reality and the Divine beauty which we hope to enjoy hereafter, we can think so still."

What I get out of that statement is that life should be lived from a humble vantage point. Realize that we are mortal. Understand that we live in a fallen world that delivers death as the ultimate judgment for a sinful life. But also, know a loving God that doesn't leave us in this wretched state. Live life, and learn what it means to be held by God's saving grace, even when we face untold sufferings.

When we do that, we somehow move closer to the life we hope to live in eternity. And so, even when facing the grim cruelty of death, we can find purpose.

Lewis added dimension to his point through a passage in his book, "The Problem of Pain," published a year later. We'll look at that at the end of this week.

When Mortality Calls/Think About It

I remember the moment as if it were yesterday.

I was in a meeting, and a man interrupted with a stiff face and a flat statement, "Your father has had a stroke. You need to get to the hospital."

My thoughts were swirling as I excused myself and headed for the car. "Dad's too young to have had a stroke," I rationalized. "This must be a mistake." I was only partially right. It was a heart attack.

When I arrived at the hospital, a youngish ambulance driver with red hair and an ashen face was just coming out of the emergency entrance. He seemed visibly shaken and downcast.

As I entered the waiting room, my mother was already present. She was part of a circle of three, holding hands and praying. She was squeezing her eyes shut tight, as if by straining she could make her earnest prayers change everything. But the tears flowed through the seams just the same.

My brother-in-law, Tom, was part of the circle. His eyes were wide open, even as the minister prayed. He had followed the ambulance to my parents' house by intuition, having just happened to drive by the neighborhood at the right moment. His face struggled with disbelief at what he was experiencing.

When the hospital clergyman realized who I was, he ushered me close to the room where doctors and nurses frantically worked on my father. For over a half hour, they attempted to save him, but to no avail. The artery that fed my father's heart had exploded and the damage done was too extensive to make resuscitation possible.

My two brothers were out of town, so I represented my mother as the head nurse explained all that would happen next--a short and difficult course on attending to the business of the dead. She handed me a clear baggy with the personal possessions my father had on him when he arrived at the hospital. His wallet and comb, keys, some change, and his wedding band. I fought back the tears, trying to listen intently, and asking the necessary questions.

Shortly after that, I had one moment alone with my father. I reached out and touched his lifeless body and the realization came to me in an instant. "Gone!" I involuntarily looked upward and an audible gasp escaped my mouth.

Perhaps needless to say, it was the most difficult moment of my young life. My father was only 59, and I was just 30. It shouldn't have been. But, it was. How do you reconcile the unfair pain of such a moment? Or can you?

Let's explore the discussion more mid-week.

A Time of Drought/Live It!

What goes down must go down?

That's not the way I remember that saying. Yet, here we are a full business week on the other side of the presumed answer to our economic woes, a $700 billion bailout, and the market has plunged another 500 points or so.

Looking at my third quarter retirement fund statement Friday was probably similar to experiencing a slasher movie--you can't stand to see it, but you can't look away.

That's why I don't go to slasher movies, by the way. But, we can't ignore real life, and that's what we're experiencing with this economic disaster we're facing. All the pundits now are saying that we're in for a long recovery. There won't be any quick fix, no short-term suffering here.

Elijah entered into a period of suffering that had an undetermined time frame attached to it. All God told him, and all Elijah conveyed to King Ahab, was the bad news that a drought was coming. Period. It was meant to make a point and to draw the nation of Israel back to God. The covenant God had struck with Israel promised woes if they turned their eyes to false gods.

Yet, there were many good people--even people within Ahab's own officer core (I Ki. 18:3-4)--who would have to suffer along with those who had turned their backs on God. But, in the midst of the calamity, God showed His plan, protection, and provision for Elijah. Here's how I see it:

• God's Plan--God always has a plan for His people. In I Ki. 17:3 & 9, God revealed what He wanted Elijah to do during this trial. God moved Elijah geographically and culturally, opening his eyes to how big the Lord is and how mightily He can move. But, at that point in time, God intended Elijah to be scarce.
• His Protection--Israel needed to suffer by itself for a time. Ahab looked for Elijah, probably wanting him to put a stop to the drought, but couldn't find him. Part of God's plan was to protect Elijah from Ahab's vengeance.
• His Provision--While God was executing His plan and protecting Elijah, He was also providing for his basic needs. Note that I said basic. Elijah wasn't living in the lap of luxury, although it might have been exciting each day to see what the ravens brought (I Ki. 17:6). It was probably also thrilling that the widow's jar of flour and jug of oil never ran out (I Ki. 17:16). But, can you imagine eating the same thing every day for 3-plus years? Elijah did suffer, but his needs were met.

In the midst of this financial crisis we're facing, it would be natural for you to question where God is in all this. I've seen a few crises in my lifetime and will gladly tell you that God was faithful to provide for my family through them. They were not easy times, but we grew through the experiences.

We were drawn closer to God, relying more and more on Him and less on our own ingenuity. I don't know for certain if we are stepping into such a time right now. But I am confident that, if we are, God is present with His plan, protection, and provision.

A Time of Drought/Go Deep

Ahab was one of the most evil kings to sit on Israel's throne.

He took over in about 874 B.C. and ruled the nation--or rather, ruined the nation--for some 22 years.

This was during a time when Israel and Judah were split. The southern kingdom, Judah, had Jerusalem, the Temple, and a good king every now and again; so Judah remained closer to God's Law. By contrast, Israel not only built a competing temple, the nation intermingled with its evil neighbors and veered far from the path God had set.

Part of what made Ahab so bad for the kingdom was his marriage to Jezebel, the princess of Tyre. Her father, Tyre's king, was originally a high priest of the pagan god Baal. Little Jezzy determined it was her purpose in life to turn Israel to the dark side, Baal worship.

She was pretty much succeeding, too, except for this pesky prophet Elijah. Elijah had a habit of telling Ahab and his household exactly what the true God thought.

In I Kings 17, we see Elijah delivering one of those messages from God. A drought was coming, bad news on a number of fronts, but also a slap in the face to the fake god Baal, who was supposed to provide rains and bountiful harvests.

There are so many lessons in this story. But, here's the one for this entry.

God delivered a drought to Israel to achieve His higher purposes. Elijah was one of the good guys; but he had to endure the drought along with many others who didn't deserve the headache.

In the midst of the hardships, though, God showed Elijah His plan, His provision, and His protection. Let's finish this lesson on Saturday.

A Time of Drought/Think About It

Our country appears to be moving into a time of economic drought.
What was my first clue, you ask?

My rapidly shrinking retirement fund for starters. Then, the media frenzy surrounding Congress' passage of a $700 billion bailout. And, of course, there's the souring political fortunes of John McCain (a bad economy is always bad for the incumbent party).

The bailout's passage was supposed to turn the Dow Jones around right away. But, it didn't happen. Today, the market dropped close to 400 more points on the news that global markets were seizing up at the news of America's failing financial health.

Soon, people won't be able to buy a vowel on Wheel of Fortune. (We can kiss it all goodbye when that happens.)

Most of us are looking around wondering, "What in the heck happened here?" We were doing our part, working hard, paying debts, watching our P's and Q's. But someone wasn't watching either.

Blame it on poor oversight by our government, greed among government-supported mortgage companies and their executives, and a national media that no longer searches out and spotlights truth, but instead runs interference for left-leaning causes.

Knowing this, unfortunately, doesn't make it go away. We appear to be in for a bad time--an economic drought. In spite of the fact that most of us did not cause this, we will still take part of the hit.

So what should our response be in the face of this injustice? Why are we having to experience it? Where is God in all this?

Read a story about another drought and the people who had to endure it, and we'll talk more mid-week. You'll find the biblical account in I Kings 17. Read, and then think about it.