When It Doesn't Fall Your Way/Live It!

There truly are seasons of life.
Ups, and downs. Some of the ups are more ecstatic than others. Some downs will be perhaps deeper than you can now imagine.

One of the proactive things you can do to prepare now for a comeback after some future defeat is to adjust your view of life to include this truth--you will be dealt difficult blows and at times it will be in spite of your best efforts to avoid it. Life is meant to be lived, and that involves taking risks. The reason people call them risks is because they hold out a chance for both reward and loss.

Understand that living life will involve seasons of winning and seasons of losing. The shame is not in the loss. The true shame is in not having played the game and not having given it your best.

So, to the New England Patriots, I say yes, mourn. You've suffered a very disappointing defeat. But, look at what you accomplished. Think about what you learned along the way. What did you gain in terms of life's intangibles by the experiences of the entire season? How are you stronger for the experience? And what new thing will you start working towards achieving tomorrow?

Perspective. It makes all the difference.

I was given one of those quick, easy-to-remember neumonic devices recently that fits the idea of moving forward after defeat--VIM. Here's what it stands for:

• Vision--Having a vision for accomplishing something in your life.
• Intention--Being intentional about making it happen.
• Means--Determining the means through which you can accomplish it.

That's simplistic, but very helpful, at least in terms of imagining steps and an order.

The Pats need a new vision. What's next for them? Former Dallas Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson talked about having a perfect season with one of his college teams only to lose in the national championship game. What did he do the next year? He led the team to another undefeated season, followed by a win in the national championship. I'm betting he clearly communicated a new vision for the team and helped them believe they could achieve it.

Then, New England needs to make a decision. Do they intend to come back? They did the impossible once. Can they decide to do the impossible again, to surpass this almost perfect season next year? If they don't make that determination, it surely won't happen.

Finally, they need to figure out by what means they can make the vision happen. How much time, how much effort will be required? How does that translate into practical steps, like studying, practicing, and sacrificing? Make a plan. Follow the plan.

If it's a good plan, if you give it your all, and good fortune falls your way, who knows what you can accomplish! Hang in there--no matter what!

When It Doesn't Fall Your Way/Go Deep

It was almost the perfect season.
The New England Patriots entered the Superbowl with an 18-0 record--the best that the NFL has ever seen. And they were favorites to make it 19-0, the perfect season topped off with the ultimate championship win.

What a huge disappointment when they didn't make it. Jimmy Johnson, former Dallas Cowboys coach and now sports commentator, said that it was the type of loss the New England players and coaches "might not ever get over." The reason? Redemption is so hard to come by. When will you ever have another perfect season like this one?

That's a harsh reality! But not uncommon. I've seen a lot of disappointment over the years.

I've seen a young man who worked his heart out as the number two guy, only to be passed over when the position above him opened. His attitude tanked and his performance soon followed. He eventually lost the job he had and I don't know if he ever recovered.

I've seen another man who took a risk, vied for and won a challenging position with a new organization. It was his chance to shine and to prove he was ready for a major jump in responsibility. But it didn't work out and he lost the job. It's been more than a year since that happened and he is still looking for work.

I've seen a man in the prime of his life, a lovely wife and kids, who found a lump on his back. From the time doctors diagnosed cancer to the day he succumbed to the disease was less than six months. He was a Christian. His wife, full of questions, faced life as a single mom.

What do you say? What do you do? How do you stand to keep on trying in the face of such devastating losses? How do you regain a positive mind set and start moving toward a new challenge? How do you not give up?

Again, it's important to imagine what you would do and why before it happens to you. There's always a time of mourning in the midst of a loss. But, the world around you keeps moving. So eventually, you have to leave the mourning behind and find a way to create forward momentum.

I'll give you some thoughts on it Friday.

When It Doesn't Fall Your Way/Think About It

You know it was inevitable.
I'd see it, and then would have to write about it.

What an awesome game last night! The Superbowl between the 18-0 perfect New England Patriots and the sometimes on, sometimes off New York Giants, this year's Cinderella team.

New York is behind by four points, but has the ball in the last two minutes of the game. Giants QB Eli Manning is almost sacked. He could have been called "in the grasp," but for some reason the ref waits on the whistle. Eli struggles and breaks loose into the open. He rares back and tosses up a Hail Mary, hoping to keep the drive alive. New York's David Tyree leaps and somehow brings the pass in between one hand and his helmet!

Not only is the drive still alive, the Giants are deep in Patriot territory and--you saw it--they score with only about 40 seconds left. Whew! What a finish to a close, hard-fought game.

So, as with the Giants, sometimes you hang in there when all seems lost. You don't give up and battle against the odds. You bring forward all your experience, hard work and skills. And then good fortune gives you the break you need. You win big when no one thought it could happen.

It's easy to know what to do next when this happens. Celebrate! But what if life deals you the other card, like the one the Patriots got. With 40 seconds to go, the Patriots pinned their hopes on several Hail Mary's. But none worked. They suffered defeat, a heart-rending loss.

What do you do then? Think about it, because it will happen to you if it hasn't already. Then we'll talk more Wednesday.