More Expensive than Gas/Live It!

See, perspective does help.
The high price of gas doesn't seem nearly so excessive when you consider the costly messes we sometimes get ourselves into.

So, in the cause of relieving mental distress, here are even more things that will cost you more than gas:

• Believing a politician when he says, "I represent change." (The only change a politician is really looking for is more power shifting his way--which necessarily requires power shifting away from you. Watch your wallet.)
• Choosing a bride on national television as the star of a reality show. ("So, you want to find your forever bride? Here's a plan. Let's have a dozen women you've never met compete over you for 13 weeks. We'll put them under pressure on national TV and eliminate them one at a time. Throw in some alcohol, hot tubs, and a few cat fights. Last one standing is your life mate!" So, what's the plan when the cameras turn off?)
• Thinking that an affair can be kept secret. (I believe that's been tried recently by no less than three prominent New York governmental officials. Re-election prospects--even in New York--aren't looking good.)
• Scheduling a hunting trip during the two-week window when your daughter is expecting the birth of a child. (Only attempt this if you happen to like the view from above the fireplace mantel, which is where your wife will mount what's left of you. Deer meat just doesn't taste that good.)
• Taking a used car salesman at his word when he says, "Hey, I'm takin' a bath here!" (Uh huh. Line up all the used car salesmen in the world head-to-toe and what do you get? Chances are it won't be a straight line.)

Hope you're feeling better. I know I am.

And just in time. I have to fill up tomorrow. Don't forget to send me your list of "Things That Will Cost You More Than Gas." I have a feeling we'll be needing them.

Take care!

More Expensive Than Gas/Go Deep

"Get some perspective!"
Sounds like something your wife would say when your favorite team loses the championship. Agitated by her callous remark, you reply with something clever like, "Yeah, yeah!"

But really, perspective can help from time to time. Like now with gas prices higher than a kite and climbing every day. Maybe if we consider some things that will really cost us, the price of fuel won't seem like liquid gold.

So, here's the first half of my list of things that will cost you more than gas:

• Saying to a woman, "When are you due?" when you don't know for an ABSOLUTE certainty that she is with child. (I only did this once, at my 10-year high school reunion, and I still reach for mittens every time I think of the cold stare that resulted.)


• Getting between a future bride and her wedding plans. (My brother just learned this lesson when he made a "sensible" suggestion about his future daughter-in-law's location choice. Step into this mess and trouble multiplies like rabbits. Think backlash-cubed: mess with the bride-to-be and feel the wrath from the mother-in-law and wife, too.)


• Believing your wife when she says, "Oh, you don't have to buy me anything for my birthday!" ("But she sounded so sincere!" Riiiiight, and put those teeth under your pillow and the tooth fairy will leave you a surprise.)


• Being naive enough to rush into disreputable behavior in Las Vegas and truly believing it won't follow you home. (Think about it. How did "Sin City" gain its reputation if no one talked?)


• Opting for a fishing trip instead of sticking around for your in-laws' annual visit. (Don't be surprised if your wife and mother-in-law redecorate while you're gone. And enjoy your new digs in the backyard doghouse. Nice view!)

Kind of takes the sting out of the pump, doesn't it. That's called perspective.

There are more "things that will cost you more than gas" coming on Friday. In the meantime, if these examples have reminded you of costly experiences of your own, why not share them. It's for a good cause. Send me a comment.

Talk with you later!

More Expensive Than Gas/Think About It

$3.72 per gallon!
At the posting of this blog, that's the average price of gasoline in the United States.

Whew! I can remember--back in the day--when gas wars drove the price of a gallon down to 15 cents. And a station attendant would pump your gas for you! But, we don't have to go back that far to reminisce. Just a year ago, gasoline was (only) $3 per gallon. Oh, for the good old days.

Such an integral part of our everyday lives, driving is one of those essentials we can't imagine doing without. So it's no wonder we're all thrown for a loop with gas prices at an all-new high and reports emerging of continuing increases likely for the future.

But, come on folks, let's get a grip.

Very quickly, those with political ambitions seized the day, seeking to ease our suffering and grant us relief from this woeful circumstance. At this very moment, a bill is winging its way through Congress that will divert the daily allotment of gasoline from the federal emergency reserve to the marketplace, theoretically reducing the price by maybe five cents a gallon.

Don't you imagine that one day we will pay for this maneuver as well?

Is it truly the end of the world? I'm here to tell you, we need to get some perspective. There are many things in this world that cost us much more than the price of gas.

In fact, I'm starting a list. And I'll begin sharing that list with you Wednesday.