Pressure Pop Your Cork?/Live It!

So what of Tulowitzki? The Rockies pulled out one more run to win the game and sweep the Phillies to move into the National League Championship Series. Tulowitzki's strike out wasn't fatal to the team, nor I suspect to the Rookie of the Year candidate's career.

So, the first lesson of keeping your cool under pressure: Realize that the stakes aren't your life! Mistakes happen, we don't always win. But life doesn't end because of it. How you respond is what counts. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Use the experience to grow into someone better and stronger. Try again until you succeed.

Other thoughts:

• Think ahead about what it will take to do an excellent job. It's not the win. It's doing your best that represents success.


• Concentrate on the basics of what you're doing. Don't concern yourself about the results. If you take care of the basics, the results will take care of themselves.


• Focus on the moment. Don't drift. Don't think about either failure or success. What matters is what you're doing in the moment.


• Understand that people in the audience are on your side. Most of them would never be in your shoes and they don't want to witness a crash and burn. They are secretly rooting for you. Smile at them and they'll smile back.


• Plan ways to get some wins. Whatever plagues you (like a fear of speaking), find some ways to practice in a less threatening environment and get some wins. Practice and small successes breed confidence that will pay off later.
  

One of the first motivational films I saw was done by a psychologist who had a fear of heights. This was a lady who threw up at the thought of high places. To conquer this fear, she parachuted out of a plane. But not until after many hours of practicing jumping out of the plane while it was still on the runway.

She also took courage from her instructor who told her why he wasn't afraid of jumping out of a plane: "I pack my own chute." Prepare, practice, and focus. You'll do fine.

See you next week.

Pressure Pop Your Cork?/Go Deep

I really felt for Tulowitzki. Under the pressure of the moment, he struck out, hitting the ground with his bat in frustration. A lost opportunity. Men left on base. Inning over.

He's not alone. How many times do we see the NFL kicker miss the field goal after the opposing coach "freezes" him? How many times do we see the star NBA player miss the 3-pointer at the buzzer? What causes us to lose it when the pressure is on?

Based on my own experience, here's one theory: Fear leads to loss of focus which leads to failure which confirms the fear.


Fear. When I was practicing, I simply enjoyed the activity. I didn't think about what I was doing--it was play. And my performance was really pretty good. But when the game was on the line, when an audience was watching, fear moved to the front of the brain. Fear can be an overpowering emotion that breaks your concentration, clouds your judgment, momentarily erases your memory, and drops your performance in the dumper.

So what was I afraid of? Failing. Worse yet, failing in front of an audience. Everything I had learned, everything I'd practiced flew out the window when fear walked through the front door.

Focus was a no-show at that point. Rather than concentrating on the task at hand, I focused on the impending failure, the embarrassment, the disappointment. I started adding my own personal pressure to an already difficult situation. My train of thought derailed and my performance went along for the bumpy ride.

Inevitably, I would fail in the attempt. What a hit to the ego!

If you're not careful, if you don't find a way to turn it around, this pattern can move you into a downward spiral of repeat failures and it becomes difficult to ever get back on the winning trail.

The good news is you can change this pattern in your life. I did. Friday, I'll share some of the things I learned over the years and some of the techniques I've used to keep my head while under pressure.

Pressure Pop Your Cork?/Think About It

If you were watching the third game of the Colorado Rockies-Philadelphia Phillies National League Division Series this past weekend, you saw a situation unfold that was the very definition of pressure.

With a win, the Rockies would sweep the series. It was the seventh inning. The score tied. Colorado second baseman Kaz Matsui was at bat. Two outs. Matsui had burned the Phillies with a two-out RBI in the fifth, so they intentionally walk him. Next up? Rookie shortstop Tory Tulowitzki.

Now, what were the Phillies saying to Tulowitzki? "We think we can take you on and beat you. We know what Matsui can do, but we don't think you have what it takes."

Talk about pressure! I don't know about you, but this used to be automatic CHOKE country for me. For much of my young life, these situations brought on brain freeze. On the practice field, I would win the shortstop position. On the day of the game, I couldn't snag the easiest grounder. At music lessons, my play was perfect. At the recital, I would freeze on stage.

What about you? Does pressure put you off your game or, worse, bring on lock jaw? Think about why and we'll go deeper on Wednesday.

Use 'em While You Got 'em/Live It!

So you've got legs and want to use 'em? Welcome to the race!

In my initial vision-casting blog, I referred to "the more noble pursuits that represent the true calling of men." Among those are taking responsibility for your life, exercising foresight, and making plans. Three things you won't see men doing in a beer commercial.

Taking Responsibility. You've heard it before, your life is what you make it. If those stakes aren't high enough, add the fact that, when a family is involved, there are other lives tied to your own. Determine to make your life a success and, by doing so, you'll bring others with you.

Start with your priorities. Whatever they are--relationships, career, God--define what success looks like for you in that arena. Visualize where you want to go. When you can see it, the target becomes easier to aim for and to hit. Then decide that you're going for it. Hold nothing back. As a life insurance agent once told me, "People always have money for something they want." The principle he was preaching: If you really want it, you'll decide to do it and it will get done.

Foresight is problem solving in advance. Analyze your current position as compared to your destination. What are the best routes to your goal? What assets do you have that will help you get there? What are your liabilities and what can you do to minimize or eliminate them? Be realistic when analyzing the costs--in time and resources. Is what you want worth what you will give up?

Be sure to balance your priorities. You're not pleasing God if you're neglecting family responsibilities to accomplish a spiritual goal. You're not helping yourself if you turn in a poor performance on your current job while pursuing a career change. Some of this falls under the category of risk, which should be considered as well.

Making plans. Now, pull it all together. A plan can be formal or informal. It can be for today, for next week or for well into the future. It helps me to break down long-term plans into shorter, more easily attainable goals. It's encouraging to reach interim objectives as you move forward on a big plan. (Completing a college degree may be a two-year job, but the first two courses may only involve the next four months.)

Set some milestones so you can check your progress from time-to-time. Include others in your plan for both accountability and encouragement. (Choose wisely who you involve. Someone you can count on. Maybe someone who is making the same journey.) And be ready to adjust your plan. Life changes and new assets and liabilities emerge as you move down the road.

I've given you a lot to digest. What's most important is that you do take responsibility for your life and that you're proactive about moving towards the goals you want. Making the decision to engage--to use those legs--may be the hardest thing you do.

(Next topic on Monday.)

Use 'em While You Got 'em/Go Deep

Among truths, these two are unavoidable and irrevocable: time moves on and things change.

Today has its own set of opportunities that are unique to your stage of life, your relationships, your income, your circumstances, your maturity, your available time, your geography, your circle of friends, your influence, and a host of other factors. The question is, are your eyes trained to see the opportunities? And then, are you doing something with those opportunities?

I've seen two mindsets in men that are on opposite ends of the spectrum. One is the man who let's life live him. He seemingly has no plan, no agenda. He takes life as it comes and often is surprised by what life drops on his door step. More often than not, it's life that takes him for a ride and not the other way around.

The other man is rare. He surveys the land like an advance scout for a wagon train. Taking his responsibility seriously, he studies the terrain, observes the weather, scopes out the dangers, and considers the best options. Then, he makes a plan, follows it, and leads others in it.

Which one, do you think, comes to the end of his life and is blindsided by the realization that he no longer has legs to run--even if he wanted to? Which one do you want to be?

(Next post this Friday)

Use 'em While You Got 'em/Think About It

On a recent morning run, the thought came to me, "Use the legs while you've got them." Certainly, the notion fit the context of the moment. (When you don't start running until your late forties, you're never quite sure if your legs will be up to the challenge!) But the idea also reflected a much deeper strain of thought that has been dominating my subconscious lately.

You see, my mother has entered that stage of life where reality begins to give way to fantasy, where reason starts to let go and imagination begins to take over. Less and less is she capable of taking care of her own business, her own needs. She was among the most capable of the many people I have known. Yet, that capacity to be productive, to be a contributor, is now quickly slipping away.


You can imagine the flood of thoughts and emotions this produces in me. The one that is on my heart for you, though, is this: What is the opportunity this day that you need to take advantage of--because you can and because it won't always be so?

Think about it!

(Next post this Wednesday)