If only I could fully implement the wisdom I find in Scripture.
Life would be more like what God intended it to be.
I want to draw on three insightful words that urge releasing the failures of the past and the pressures of the present. Jesus is the author of one and the Apostle Paul the other two.
There's a practical application and a spiritual one with each statement. Together, they offer an elegant counter to this impulse we have to carry useless burdens in our life.
Jesus said: "...do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes." (Luke 12:22-23)
It's a universal. We all carry the burden of the day-to-day with us. Yet, practically, Jesus said that by worrying we can't add one single hour to our life. And since that is true, why worry about the rest. Simply put, worrying is not a productive (nor a healthy) exercise, yet it takes a major toll. Work for the things you need, but don't worry.
From a spiritual perspective, Jesus said flatly that worrying signalled a shallow faith. He pointed to the birds in the sky and the flowers of the fields as proof of God's faithful provision for His creation. So have faith that the God who provides so well for birds and flowers will do even more for you who are MORE valuable.
In terms of carrying today's hardships, Paul instructed: "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2) The practical lesson is that we shouldn't go through life as a loner. Most burdens are too heavy for one person. By sharing the load, we spread out the weight and each of us carries a lighter burden.
The spiritual application is that by reaching out to someone in need and helping to carry their burden, you are fulfilling what Christ commanded--namely, love God and then love other people. When the people of God are at their best, they are together in unity, stronger because of the support they provide each other. And by doing so, they move closer to God in faith and practice.
In terms of carrying our failures from the past, Paul knew all too well what he was talking about when he said: "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 3:14)
Paul had some major failures to look back on. But he knew that Christ had taken care of his guilt. Also, he knew that looking back made it very difficult to move forward. As a practical matter, putting our failures under a constant microscope is another unproductive exercise. It gains us nothing, except heartache and a loss of confidence.
From a spiritual aspect, Paul saw life as a forward race in pursuit of living up to the gift of grace that Christ captured for us through His death on the cross. I say "pursuit" because there is no way on earth that we can live up to that standard. But, we should chase it, according to Paul. A Christian's life is about growth and maturity, achieved though facing life's challenges in a godly fashion.
So let go of the worry, share the burden, and quit carrying around those mistakes. Plus, be sure to lift with your legs.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Releasing Burdens/Go Deep
There is a burden that is too much for a man.
King David knew it all too well.
"My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear." (Ps. 38:4)
David withered under the load of guilt that he himself could not remove. His sin caused him physical pain, failing health, severe mental anguish, and agonizing isolation. There was only one answer to his need: "Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior." (Ps. 38:22)
Guilt is easy in the making, but impossible in the living. Guilt is like slow death, sapping energy, creativity, vitality, and zeal for life. Guilt is also what makes death so unbearable for the person who does not know God. Without relief, guilt will crush a person in life and condemn him for eternity in death.
So when Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Mt. 11:28)," he wasn't making some shallow political promise. Jesus was speaking to the central need of mankind. And, he wasn't just talking about it, he was doing the work necessary to remove completely and forever the burden of that guilt from all mankind.
I've been fortunate to live guilt-free for the majority of my life, having accepted Christ's gift of grace when just a teen. I say "guilt-free" with the full knowledge that I still mess up and have to ask for my Savior's forgiveness. But I never have to carry that guilt any longer than it takes me to let go of my pride and submit to His will.
What I do tend to carry far beyond the point I should are the failures of my past and the pressures of my present. Both can consume the best of what life has to offer, and they deserve to be jettisoned from your life. In fact, Christ and the first century Apostles gave clear guidance about how to handle both.
We'll clear the way to a burden-free weekend by covering both on Friday.
King David knew it all too well.
"My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear." (Ps. 38:4)
David withered under the load of guilt that he himself could not remove. His sin caused him physical pain, failing health, severe mental anguish, and agonizing isolation. There was only one answer to his need: "Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior." (Ps. 38:22)
Guilt is easy in the making, but impossible in the living. Guilt is like slow death, sapping energy, creativity, vitality, and zeal for life. Guilt is also what makes death so unbearable for the person who does not know God. Without relief, guilt will crush a person in life and condemn him for eternity in death.
So when Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Mt. 11:28)," he wasn't making some shallow political promise. Jesus was speaking to the central need of mankind. And, he wasn't just talking about it, he was doing the work necessary to remove completely and forever the burden of that guilt from all mankind.
I've been fortunate to live guilt-free for the majority of my life, having accepted Christ's gift of grace when just a teen. I say "guilt-free" with the full knowledge that I still mess up and have to ask for my Savior's forgiveness. But I never have to carry that guilt any longer than it takes me to let go of my pride and submit to His will.
What I do tend to carry far beyond the point I should are the failures of my past and the pressures of my present. Both can consume the best of what life has to offer, and they deserve to be jettisoned from your life. In fact, Christ and the first century Apostles gave clear guidance about how to handle both.
We'll clear the way to a burden-free weekend by covering both on Friday.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Releasing Burdens/Think About It
"That's all right. I have big shoulders," I would hear my father declare when he was being buffeted by storms on several fronts.
It wasn't that he needed to boost others' confidence in his abilities to handle the onslaught as much as it seemed he needed to verbalize his own determination to hang in there. It was an age of self-reliance when men--just by virtue of the fact that they were men--were expected to stand against whatever came their way.
A John Wayne philosophy of manhood, my Dad's mindset had both merit and flaw. On the merit side, it is so important that a man hang in there when the going gets tough. Often, I have heard of men who drop-out when a wife contracts a life-threatening, long-term disease. Too many times, I've seen men fold when the economy goes south and they see their career plans slip away with it.
My family benefited so much from my father's strength and faith in hard times. He always seemed calm in the face of troubles and always communicated a faith that things would work out. Yet, I know he secretly held doubts and worried a great deal about the negative outcomes that were possible.
He shared many of those doubts with my mother, but he held many of them within himself, and it took a toll.
My father died after a massive heart attack shortly before his sixtieth birthday. Some 45-plus years of smoking and eating fatty foods were major contributors to that attack, but doctors agreed that stress played a definite role in triggering the event.
So, contrary to the John Wayne playbook, there are burdens men should not carry--at least not alone. A word to consider this week from Jesus: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Mt. 11:28)
What burdens have you been buckling under lately? Think about it and we'll talk more mid-week.
It wasn't that he needed to boost others' confidence in his abilities to handle the onslaught as much as it seemed he needed to verbalize his own determination to hang in there. It was an age of self-reliance when men--just by virtue of the fact that they were men--were expected to stand against whatever came their way.
A John Wayne philosophy of manhood, my Dad's mindset had both merit and flaw. On the merit side, it is so important that a man hang in there when the going gets tough. Often, I have heard of men who drop-out when a wife contracts a life-threatening, long-term disease. Too many times, I've seen men fold when the economy goes south and they see their career plans slip away with it.
My family benefited so much from my father's strength and faith in hard times. He always seemed calm in the face of troubles and always communicated a faith that things would work out. Yet, I know he secretly held doubts and worried a great deal about the negative outcomes that were possible.
He shared many of those doubts with my mother, but he held many of them within himself, and it took a toll.
My father died after a massive heart attack shortly before his sixtieth birthday. Some 45-plus years of smoking and eating fatty foods were major contributors to that attack, but doctors agreed that stress played a definite role in triggering the event.
So, contrary to the John Wayne playbook, there are burdens men should not carry--at least not alone. A word to consider this week from Jesus: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Mt. 11:28)
What burdens have you been buckling under lately? Think about it and we'll talk more mid-week.
Friday, August 29, 2008
The Future Son-in-Law Talk 3
Protecting your wife begins before you're married.
I think just about every man enters marriage understanding and accepting the role of protector. It's one of those responsibilities that a father transfers to the man who marries his daughter.
But, I proposed to my future son-in-law that the protection begins BEFORE the marriage.
Consider this. As a husband, wouldn't you defend your wife's honor if it were being challenged? Wouldn't you work to shield her from the seedy advances of some smarmy character? Wouldn't you keep her from even being exposed to some of the smut that exists in today's world? Would you strive to protect her reputation?
In other words, your desire as a husband would be to protect your wife's virtue as a woman and her integrity as a person. To my future son-in-law, I proposed that that kind of protection should begin right away, before marriage.
During courtship and engagement, a man should be just as concerned about his future wife's virtue, integrity and reputation as he will be when she is his wife. And, that protection should be expressed in the way he treats her with respect and purity.
It's a perspective that's vastly different from current world thinking. The woman doesn't belong to you just because she is engaged to you. Yes, it's hard for both of you to keep your hands off of each other during that time. (That's why I'm in favor of short engagements.) But, from God's perspective, the woman is not yours until the wedding night.
You have an incredibly important role to play as protector once married. But it's equally important that you start practicing that role before the marriage happens.
I think just about every man enters marriage understanding and accepting the role of protector. It's one of those responsibilities that a father transfers to the man who marries his daughter.
But, I proposed to my future son-in-law that the protection begins BEFORE the marriage.
Consider this. As a husband, wouldn't you defend your wife's honor if it were being challenged? Wouldn't you work to shield her from the seedy advances of some smarmy character? Wouldn't you keep her from even being exposed to some of the smut that exists in today's world? Would you strive to protect her reputation?
In other words, your desire as a husband would be to protect your wife's virtue as a woman and her integrity as a person. To my future son-in-law, I proposed that that kind of protection should begin right away, before marriage.
During courtship and engagement, a man should be just as concerned about his future wife's virtue, integrity and reputation as he will be when she is his wife. And, that protection should be expressed in the way he treats her with respect and purity.
It's a perspective that's vastly different from current world thinking. The woman doesn't belong to you just because she is engaged to you. Yes, it's hard for both of you to keep your hands off of each other during that time. (That's why I'm in favor of short engagements.) But, from God's perspective, the woman is not yours until the wedding night.
You have an incredibly important role to play as protector once married. But it's equally important that you start practicing that role before the marriage happens.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The Future Son-in-Law Talk 2
A man wanting to marry has several responsibilities.
One of those is to make certain the relationship is right, and time is key as you make that assessment.
Part of my advice to one of my future sons-in-law was, "give it time."
When marrying, you are entering into a "forever" relationship, which means you are committing to stay together through thick and thin, good times and bad. Unfortunately, that's an apt description of life in general. There's always some good. And there's very nearly always some bad. The degree of bad goes up and down as life moves forward. But at times, it can be really harsh.
It's during those times that a man and wife sustain each other--with love, respect, patience, empathy, encouragement and friendship. Yes, you have to like each other. Especially when you're not so likable, which usually happens during the bad times.
How do you know you can sustain your love through hard times when you've only known each other for a short time? Have you seen how the other person responds to hard circumstances? Have you seen their many moods?
(When we're dating, we have a way of putting our best foot forward. After all, why mess things up--until after the wedding?)
I'm a believer in long courtships, followed by short engagements. Remain in a courtship relationship long enough to see both the good and the bad in each other. This is when you find out if your interests and values, friends and relatives, and even your choice of pets are compatible. This is when you discover if you can weather the personal storms together.
Then, once you're sure you can and you've made the mutual decision to take the plunge, don't spend a long time looking over the ledge. Jump!
So, give it time. Make sure it's right.
One of those is to make certain the relationship is right, and time is key as you make that assessment.
Part of my advice to one of my future sons-in-law was, "give it time."
When marrying, you are entering into a "forever" relationship, which means you are committing to stay together through thick and thin, good times and bad. Unfortunately, that's an apt description of life in general. There's always some good. And there's very nearly always some bad. The degree of bad goes up and down as life moves forward. But at times, it can be really harsh.
It's during those times that a man and wife sustain each other--with love, respect, patience, empathy, encouragement and friendship. Yes, you have to like each other. Especially when you're not so likable, which usually happens during the bad times.
How do you know you can sustain your love through hard times when you've only known each other for a short time? Have you seen how the other person responds to hard circumstances? Have you seen their many moods?
(When we're dating, we have a way of putting our best foot forward. After all, why mess things up--until after the wedding?)
I'm a believer in long courtships, followed by short engagements. Remain in a courtship relationship long enough to see both the good and the bad in each other. This is when you find out if your interests and values, friends and relatives, and even your choice of pets are compatible. This is when you discover if you can weather the personal storms together.
Then, once you're sure you can and you've made the mutual decision to take the plunge, don't spend a long time looking over the ledge. Jump!
So, give it time. Make sure it's right.
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Future Son-in-Law Talk
I've had the privilege of delivering two future son-in-law talks.
Not the easiest thing I've ever done. But an essential when you're the father of a young lady who is smitten over a young man (and the feeling is mutual).
It's one of life's exquisite opportunities. You have before you a man who is taking a chance. He's asking the father of the woman he loves if he would consent to having his daughter taken from him.
You certainly have his attention at that moment. What an opening to make an impression. But also, what an opportunity to start off a long-term relationship on the right foot.
I thought I would tell you some of the things I shared during those moments. Perhaps you have a daughter and will one day need to--want to--deliver similar messages. Or perhaps you're a young man who hasn't yet had "the talk," and you're wondering what's to come. Perhaps these thoughts will just be good reminders of what it means to be a man who loves a woman.
These are heart thoughts, which is probably where I'll start. The things I shared with my future sons-in-law were based on my knowledge and love of my daughters, my experience as a man and husband, and my role as a father. They were--and are--heartfelt expressions.
There was a lot of conversation around each point. I'll primarily be sharing just the points...beginning Wednesday. See you then.
Not the easiest thing I've ever done. But an essential when you're the father of a young lady who is smitten over a young man (and the feeling is mutual).
It's one of life's exquisite opportunities. You have before you a man who is taking a chance. He's asking the father of the woman he loves if he would consent to having his daughter taken from him.
You certainly have his attention at that moment. What an opening to make an impression. But also, what an opportunity to start off a long-term relationship on the right foot.
I thought I would tell you some of the things I shared during those moments. Perhaps you have a daughter and will one day need to--want to--deliver similar messages. Or perhaps you're a young man who hasn't yet had "the talk," and you're wondering what's to come. Perhaps these thoughts will just be good reminders of what it means to be a man who loves a woman.
These are heart thoughts, which is probably where I'll start. The things I shared with my future sons-in-law were based on my knowledge and love of my daughters, my experience as a man and husband, and my role as a father. They were--and are--heartfelt expressions.
There was a lot of conversation around each point. I'll primarily be sharing just the points...beginning Wednesday. See you then.
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